With the release of the movie 50 Shades of Grey, I feel it's important to talk about the difference between BDSM and what is portrayed of it in the book and movie. 50 Shades of Grey is not BDSM.. it is sexual abuse. I will explain a point below as to how...
1) BDSM is actually very popular in todays society, though it isn't something commonly spoken about or displayed, it happens. There is an actual BDSM Mantra that those who follow the lifestyle live by.. it reads "Safe, sane, consensual."
One of the first scenes of the movie/parts of the book are the main character, Christian Grey, taking home a girl who is too intoxicated and changing her clothes, etc. Upon waking up, he tells her he will be watching her from now on. These are instantly signs of a power hungry, abusive person. He took in a woman whom doesn't know him, took advantage of the situation she was in, took her into his home and undressed her, exposed her non consensual body and changed her clothes. He then made her feel as though she would be watched and stalked by again, this man she has never seen in her life.
Throughout the book and movie, the woman expresses how she is afraid, how she feels threatened by him, how she doesn't want him forcing himself on her... but he continues and continues and manipulates her into thinking she wanted it all along. Ruining the whole "consent and sane" aspect of it all.
The book literally doesn't ever come to a conclusion to where the two discuss any rules, any consent, nothing. The entire time he manipulates and takes advantage, abuses and seduces with ill intentions to harm her and make her feel small, not to make her feel submissive. Like I said before, there is a difference between actual BDSM and what the book portrays it to be.
She and Christian never, ever discussed the word "no" and she often times asks him to stop, or mentions she doesn't want it, etc.
People are going to be reading this book thinking it's okay to pretty much rape a person.. They will be lead to believe that they can do whatever they want to a person without any discussion or consent.
It's a fucked up example to set for people. Such popular things shouldn't glorify sexual abuse and trauma.
source: http://www.businessinsider.com/amy-bonomi-on-abuse-in-fifty-shades-of-grey-2015-2
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